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2011 April 1

I’m not clever enough to come up with an April Fool’s Day post, so you get a normal, everyday post instead.

Stunning Off-White French Providential 9 Pc. Living Room Set – $3800


Set of 9 pieces includes:
1 Full French Providential Couch – $1,500.00
1 French Providential Loveseat – $800.00
2 French Providential Swivel Chairs – $300.00 each
2 Marble End Tables – $175.00 each
1 Marble Cocktail Table – $350.00
2 Elegant Lamps – $100.00 each

This truly is a bargain!!!! Original price was $8,500 (It’s too much furniture to just give away for less!)

Serious offers and cash only a must. Buyer responsible for removal.

If it’s Friday, it must be French Prudential day. But since we’re coming up on Easter, it must be French Providential day … the day on which ugly furniture is decreed into being by some malevolent, angry, color-blind god.

I’m pretty sure I saw those lampshades on the runway during RuPaul’s Drag Race, Season 2. (Pandora Boxx was robbed, by the way.)

Personally, I’m distracted by the sculpture on the table in the foreground. I can’t quite see what it is, but it looks to me like CabbageHead is trying to drag Molly Ringwald into his Pretty-In-Pink lair.

Thanks, Cheryl!

108 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 April 1

    Renaissance Barbie and Courtier Fop Ken sold separately.

    Adores: 7
  2. 2011 April 1
    LimeLolly permalink

    That is definitely off-white. Unfortunately, the only ‘stunning’ is what occurred to my brain.

    Should we be grateful that at least the math adds up?

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 April 1
      CapnMac permalink

      And, if that is the stunning “off white” what the fuchsia or magenta would do to a person (preson?) only a couple paces away . . . splenectomy, pnemothorax, renal infarction ?

      Adores: 0
  3. 2011 April 1

    My snark will be limited today; this week we’ve been in the thick of year-end crunch time, and it’s a six day week for me, with today and tomorrow being the biggies, so I’ll probably pop in around lunch and later this evening, but will otherwise be joining the warehouse staff to count things. And since they will no longer let me say “Vun, vun gasket! Ah-ah-ah-ah!” it’s not going to be nearly as much fun this year.

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 April 1

      Freaky-puppy – be sure to warn everyone about the warehouse sharks…no, really, they exist…and they hone in RF guns.

      Just sayin’…

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 1

        We should be safe then. We don’t have those fancy-schmancy RF scanners. We kick it old school here and count everything by hand from inventory printouts, which get entered in manually for the recounts. I’d say we’re like corporate hipsters, but we don’t wear cardigans or ironic retro glasses. Truth is we’re running an inventory system that was designed, like, 15 or 20 years ago.

        Yeah, suck it, warehouse sharks.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 1

          One potato,
          Two potato,
          Three potato,
          Four

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 1
          Astrognash permalink

          Five Potato,
          Six Potato,
          Seven Potato,
          Non-sequitur.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 1
          Steve permalink

          Gummy Bears!

          Adores: 5
  4. 2011 April 1

    My granddaughter’s birthday is coming up, and her parents are already buying the Barbie Dream House for her…but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna pony up this kind of coinage for dollhouse miniatures just so Barbie and friends can hang out and play Wii all day on it.

    Adores: 14
  5. 2011 April 1

    I think they call that color Rhode Island red…”Go away, couch, ya bother me!”

    Adores: 6
  6. 2011 April 1
    SisterLyle permalink

    *opens up dusty volume, coughs slightly* According to old Mr Webster, Sparky is indicating this furniture derives from the divine, or occurred on the whim of Providence. *closes book. Stares hard at furniture* I’m thinking this room needed a whole hell of a lot more divine intervention than it received in the planning stages.

    Adores: 8
  7. 2011 April 1
    SisterLyle permalink

    And am I the only one who noticed that the carpet matches the drapes? *snerk*

    I’ll be in the corner.

    Adores: 15
    • 2011 April 1
      ActionBatch permalink

      Not the only one. (grin)

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 1
      drmk permalink

      Damn it, I meant to work that into the commentary.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 1
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        I bet dontevenreply.com already did it anyway.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 1
          LemonSucker permalink

          I want to know who’s repeating my comments? I thought we were original, one of a kind. I just might have to have a ‘smack-down’ with my doppleganger.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 1
          Windrose permalink

          Yeah, what Taco said. (In the box.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          My Windrosian doppleganger is in the box!

          *Punchity Punchy Punch*

          Adores: 1
  8. 2011 April 1

    Oh, it’s stunning, all right. It’s stunning that anyone would have paid $8,500 for those things, even if they are French Providencerhodeislandal. Also, am I the only one unnerved by the suggestion that I should go to Sparky’s house with $3,800 in cash?

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 April 1
      SisterLyle permalink

      Given the gaudy nature of the furniture, the only one who is going to go get it would be some old lady, who would be greeted at the door by the old lady owner. Then they shall sit upon this furniture, offering one another hard candy and nickles until they’ve both forgotten why they were there in the first place.

      Adores: 20
      • 2011 April 1
        LimeLolly permalink

        I’ve looked and looked but I just can’t see the multidinous cats hiding in the picture. I mean old ladies, tea, pink furniture… there MUST be cats somewhere.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 1
          SisterLylePuppy permalink

          Grandma, with the cat, in the fugly pink living room. *checks cards* Damn… no cats in this version. I’m out.

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 1
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, one supposes one could bring $3800 in off-green bills . . .

      But, in consideration of the above comments, $3800 in Fancy Feast, tea cozies, perhaps a nice Pekoe, or a Darjeeling, and some tins of digestive biscuits (and hairball treats) would suffice, as well . . .

      Adores: 1
  9. 2011 April 1
    ActionBatch permalink

    In the spirit of the holiday, I submit that this Providential furniture is actually dollhouse furniture and someone is pulling a fast pink one…. Oh, wait…. that sounded all kinds of bad.

    Adores: 5
  10. 2011 April 1
    Chloe Lonsdale permalink

    I too was captivated by the ornament on the Marble Cocktail Table (or coffee table as I would call it).
    I thought it was the Australian Coat of Arms, after the Prime Minister’s nieces and nephews had gone at it with Posca pens.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Australian_Coat_of_Arms.png

    Adores: 2
  11. 2011 April 1
    TacoMagic permalink

    Well guys, it’s been fun.

    But, due to increasing work loads and a desire to spend more of my free-time crocheting, this will be the last day of snark for me. I’ll still be on /FB if you need to reach me, but as for YSaC I am retiring.

    Love you all, and stay snarky.

    Cheers,
    Taco

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 1
      Innana permalink

      NNNooooooooo!!!

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 1

      I wish this was a joke. If it was, it would be your only unfunny one. Something told me this was going to be a lousy day.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 1

        OK, I forgot it’s April 1. Thanks Lou.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 1
          LimeLolly permalink

          So… I don’t need to bake a goodbye cake?

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Wait, I could have gotten goodbye cake?!

          Aw man…

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 1
          LimeLolly permalink

          Well… by bake I meant ‘buy from nearest convenience store’ and by cake I meant ‘stale crackers with fake cheese’. But sure, I would have gotten them for you, TM.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 1
          SisterLylePuppy permalink

          I could so have used your leaving as an excuse to get my boss to buy us cake. He’ll look for just about any excuse to buy sugary goodies for work since he can’t have them at home ?? Happy Groundhog’s day, here’s a cake! It’s Thursday, I bought cookies! Happy Anniversary of the Moon Landing, I got donuts! Etc etc.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          I finished phase 1 of my commission project last night, and I’ll be done with phase 2 by Monday… that totally deserves cake.

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 1
      Lou Stool permalink

      *gots to show his Philadelphia roots here*
      BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

      *eventhough I am aware this must be an April Fool’s joke*

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        That took relatively little time for somebody to notice.

        Given that pranks are strictly forbidden at work, I needed an outlet.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 1
          SisterLyle permalink

          Not the best you’ve done. I distinctly remember waking up one day and finding that you’d tacked a giant blanket over my door so I couldn’t get out of my room…

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Who me?

          *Whistles Innocently*

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 1
          SisterLyle permalink

          There may have been some cousins involved…

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 1
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Taco, you spelled that wrong – I’m sure you meant to say “crotcheting – the act of being crotchety”, and you are far too young to be doing that. Besides, why would you take my job?

      I will consider you as an understudy for the position. Now get off my lawn before I “shake my cane” at you.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 1
        LurkRealClose permalink

        *gets off lawn*

        *does not want Gramps to “shake his cane” at her*

        Somehow, the quotations make it really, really horrible.

        *goes to corner*

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 1
          ghostcat permalink

          :gets out video camera:

          He shakes anything at me and I’m putting it on YouTube.

          Adores: 14
        • 2011 April 1

          :pops open lawn chair and sits down, popcorn in one hand and soda in the other:

          It’s showtime!

          Adores: 12
        • 2011 April 1
          ghostcat permalink

          I hope he wears the red lingerie.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          *Snaps on the TacoThong*

          *Jingly Jingly Jingly*

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 April 1
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          grabs my soccer chair and sits by CJ (I think I should have brought my blind fold).

          darn, I forgot the flask ….. Lola??

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 1
          Astrognash permalink

          So, who thinks the Acme BrainBleach department should also manufacture sunglasses?

          Adores: 11
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          C’mon Winkey! Get your bells on!

          *Jingly Jingly Jingly*

          Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 1
      Windrose permalink

      Pull the other one, it has got bells on. 8)

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 1

        Wearing the belly dancer outfit again, Windy?

        Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        *Jingly Jingly Jingly*

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 1
          ghostcat permalink

          I didn’t know until I saw it how much I never wanted to see a squirrel-suited belly dancer.

          Who has the brain bleach?

          Adores: 14
        • 2011 April 1

          …which begs the question…how did you manage to see it the first time??

          Adores: 10
        • 2011 April 1
          ghostcat permalink

          I’m easily distracted by shiny things.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          And now the TacoThong w/bells version of The Time Warp!

          It’s just a jump to the left
          And then a step to the right
          With your hands on your hips
          You bring your knees in tight
          But it’s the pelvic thrust
          *Jingly Jingly Jingly*
          that really drives you insane,
          Let’s do the Time Warp again!

          EDIT: *Whew* Forgot to close my tags there for a second. Not a smart move when you’re wearing the TacoThong.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 1
          LimeLolly permalink

          I saw the squirrel in jingly bells
          And all at once I was in hell….

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 1
      LurkRealClose permalink

      This had better be an April Fool’s joke (similar to the foot of heavy, wet snow we are getting today in New England), or else I will be forced to come over there and shake the louse poncho all over you.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 1
        Windrose permalink

        Warning! Angry Robot Moose Approaching!

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 1
          ghostcat permalink

          New from Playskool, it’s Angry Robot Moose! Now with Poncho-Lice Flinging Action!

          Adores: 10
  12. 2011 April 1
    Innana permalink

    And it’s not even French Provincial but cheap Louis Quatorze! I wonder how Craigslisters would alter that title…

    Adores: 0
  13. 2011 April 1
    LurkRealClose permalink

    Post Title Breakfast Club Earworm For The Win!

    Thanks, LlamaNun, and many, many April Bees be upon you and the Ostrimu.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 1
      drmk permalink

      I was aiming for “Pretty in Pink,” actually, but “Breakfast Club” will do. Their Venn diagrams intersect at Molly Ringwald, so it’s close enough.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        Molly Ringwald seems to be a pretty common intersection.

        I’ll be in the corner.

        Adores: 2
  14. 2011 April 1
    ghostcat permalink

    It appears that the Genie Of The Pepto-Bismol Bottle is redecorating.

    Adores: 11
  15. 2011 April 1
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    My aunt used to have a room with this kind of stuff in it. Only it was always protected with plastic covers on the seating items, and the room itself had a little velvet chain across the entryway, so we hooligan nieces wouldn’t dare actually enter and soil said items.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 1
      Windrose permalink

      At one time in my younger days, I thought having a special room like that was a sign of being rich, and I always wanted a house with an off-limits room. Now, I would just put more birds in it.

      Adores: 5
  16. 2011 April 1
    Bombdude permalink

    Duuuuude!! I need this set! It would really set my man-cave apart!!!

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 April 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      It would TOTALLY match my bench grinder.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 1

        Damn. My band saw is fuchsia. It would totally clash.

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 1
        Bombdude permalink

        My rolling tool box is the EXACT same color! it would be FABULOUS!

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 1
          SisterLylePuppy permalink

          All it needs is some feathers.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 1
          ghostcat permalink

          And rhinestones, lots and lots of sparkly rhinestones.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          And a few bedazzled deer hoves to hang your clamps from.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 1
          Bombdude permalink

          I’m wearing my cl…

          Gotta go!

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 1

      A pink man cave? My eyes squeeze shut only so tight, gentlemen.

      Adores: 0
  17. 2011 April 1
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    French Providential = Any 1960s TV Show Wild West Brothel

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 April 1

      Indeed – my first thought on seeing the photos was “tart’s boudoir”.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 1
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        That makes me wish I had a pet named Tarts and had lived on Boudoir Way when I was a kid.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 1
          SisterLylePuppy permalink

          My stripper name isn’t that interesting, either, so don’t feel bad.

          (And that could totally be misconstrued.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          My stripper name sounds more like an old-school rock band.

          James 78.

          Yeah… I’m IF’s B-52s tribute band… or maybe the Dave Clark 5.

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 1
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, when BBC had to correct that Changing Rooms disaster, the furnishings had to go somewhere, didn’t they?

        Adores: 1
  18. 2011 April 1
    ladycrim permalink

    I think these were stolen from the Madonna Inn.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2011 April 1
    TacoMagic permalink

    [Alot OT]
    I got a note from one of my aunts last night. She mentioned that she misses the family alot.

    I miss him too. He’s fast and pretty darn cunning. In fact I don’t know that anyone has ever managed to hit him.
    [/Alot]

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 1
      SisterLylePuppy permalink

      If this was a written note, I can probably expect one soon, too.

      Adores: 0
  20. 2011 April 1
    TacoMagic permalink

    YSaC is now #6 on the google results for TacoThong.

    You’re welcome.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 1
      SisterLylePuppy permalink

      I’m appalled that there’s even at least 6 results for that google search.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 1

        102 results. o.O

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 1
          LimeLolly permalink

          I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be sick.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 1
          ghostcat permalink

          It’s number 3 now, with 104 results.

          I’m scared.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 1

          As the number of hits increases, the TacoThong grows increasingly small and scanty.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 1

          And mankind inches ever nearer to the brink of destruction.

          Adores: 1
  21. 2011 April 1
    Camille permalink

    Even putting aside the usual snark about French Providential… what on earth would a French Providential SWIVEL chair be? The chair in the photo does not look a bit swivelly to me.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 1

      Le swivel chair.

      Duh.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 1
      CapnMac permalink

      Given the rigor and rectitude of Sparky-speeling, I was crossed-fingers hoping it did mean a chair that pivoted about a generally vertical axis. That, rather than being morose and with a poorly-controlled sinus condition continually wingeing on about how miserable it was all the time . . .

      Adores: 0
  22. 2011 April 1
    christina permalink

    Oh my, I’ve missed you guys.
    Sorry, I don’t have anything snarky to add. I’m just taking a well deserved April 1st break from my internet hiatus. Kudos to Taco for the well played April Tom-foolery.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 1
      Windrose permalink

      christina! You can’t imagine how much I have missed you. 8) Even a weekly drop-in would keep me from going in to withdrawals.

      Adores: 0
  23. 2011 April 1

    [OT] So I’m heading into work bright and early for day one of the inventory count and as I’m leaving the supermarket with the cafe where I get my morning coffee, there’s a Penske rent-a-truck parked across the street. Someone got a little creative with their motto.

    And yes, my feet and back are sore from standing and counting all day. (Actually, for a change I got my count partner to do all the counting this year while I wrote the counts down. Usually I do the counting because I’m pretty accurate, but because I was feeling sick last night with some sort of bug that caused a fever and shivering to the extent that my tensed muscles ended up feeling like I’d had the crap kicked out of me, I wanted to take it easy today. I’m feeling better now, but I think I’ll let him keep counting.)

    [/OT]

    Adores: 1
  24. 2011 April 2
    Windrose permalink

    Punchity punch punch taco and snardo. G’night french something or other.

    Adores: 0

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