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2011 April 20

Opera time!

For those of you who are opera novices, a good place to start would be Mozart’s “The Marriage of Figaro.” The plot is entertaining, it’s not too long, the tunes are pretty and you’ve probably even heard one or two of them before. (Yes, that IS a woman in drag. The part was originally written to be played by a castrato, which means what you think it does, and so things have to be fudged a bit in modern productions.)

After that, you can move up to some of the Italian classics like Verdi or Puccini. They feature hummable melodies, moving plots, and expect you to believe that a three hundred pound woman who has been bellowing at the top of her lungs in Italian for three hours is wasting away.

Only when you are thoroughly prepared should you approach probably the most complex operas, those written by Robert Wagner. In between episodes of “Hart to Hart,” Wagner managed to pen a seventeen hour long opera cycle involving giants, dwarves, naiads, dragons, Valkyries, spears, magic helmets, and three kinds of real cheese.

At one point, the hero of the cycle, Siegfried, successively falls in with Brunhilde (his aunt), the remaining Valkyries (also his aunts), and a couple of Norns. (guess) With all of these aunts around, where is he to keep them?

Tall Oak jewelry armoire full of great aunts


dont know much about this but i have had someone come look and they say that alot of people collect this vintage jewelry. all kinds of jewelry this box is loaded with goddy jewelry.. lots of rhintestone and jewelry that has some markings. please call theo at #########

I think that any ring forged from gold stolen from river spirits and contested over generations by the king of the Norse gods, his various more-or-less incestuous progeny, giants, dragons, and at this point, the Cirque de Soleil definitely constitutes “Goddy Jewelry,” don’t you?

Thanks for the link, Nichol!

*note: I may have actually made parts of this up.

129 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 April 20
    Lola permalink

    Which part does Stephanie Powers sing? And which ring does she wear?

    Also possibly awesome: the seller’s name is Theo, which is a prefix indicating deity. Nice.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 20
      Lara permalink

      I bet that jewelry is high and mighty

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 20

        I hate it when jewelry gets all high and mighty on me. The worst is my mom’s earrings. When they get high and mighty, they start singing gospel.

        Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 20
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      She didn’t make it out of previews. Her interpretation just wasn’t working and she was replaced by Bugs Bunny.

      Adores: 6
  2. 2011 April 20
    Lara permalink

    They spelled armoire right

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 20
      TacoMagic permalink

      And they knew that the Alot of people collects vintage jewelry.

      Not just anyone knows the collection habits of the Alot of people.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 April 20
        Angel permalink

        Soylent Green Alot is made of people!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 20
          Lara permalink

          I hear that Alot

          Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 20
        Camille permalink

        Speaking of which, there’s a new Hyperbole and a Half today.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 20
          Lara permalink

          I already read it and enjoyed it. I love the simple dog. I wish I saw random neon colored geometric shapes everywhere. I think my neighbor has a simple dog with similar perceptions of the world. The only issue is that it is a rottweiler and thus big and scary looking.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 20

          Yes, finally! I’ve been checking periodically about once a week or so but no luck. She’s been getting a lot longer between posts, but they’re always worth the wait.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 20

          Er, that is to say, the frequency of her posts has been decreasing, not that she has been physically becoming elongated in the interim. Which would be kind of funny.

          Adores: 9
        • 2011 April 20

          SQUEEEE!!!

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 20
        Lara permalink

        I can believe that Alots like jewelry. I can just imagine an Alot wearing a nice pair of hoop earrings.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 20
          TacoMagic permalink

          I wonder if the Alot of family ever met the Alot of jewelry. I’m sure they’d hit it off right away!

          Adores: 6
      • 2011 April 20
        Bombdude permalink

        They spelled armoire right

        You know, I have to get rid of one soon, and, of course, I’m going to list it on CL. God forbid I do it in a hurry, and late at night and misspell it….

        Adores: 0
  3. 2011 April 20

    When wilt Thou sell the jewelry?
    O God of great aunts, when?
    Safe in a tall oak armoire,
    Vintage, but loved again.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 April 20
      mudslicker permalink

      That was quite goddy.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 20
      Windrose permalink

      I’ll be humming that for a spell now, Dave. 8)

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 20
        Angel permalink

        Back later, off to watch Gaud(y)spell so that I’ll have something additional to hum.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20

          Turn baaaaaaaaaack, old aunty;
          Foreswear thy foolish armoires!

          Old now is goddy jewelry,
          And none may count her great rhintestones!

          BAAAAAAAH..DAHH..DA…DA…DUM

          (why yes I did perform this solo in God(dy)spell, why do you ask?)

          Adores: 6
    • 2011 April 20
      Lara permalink

      I now have an earworm and I am singing the words you guys are supplying instead of the real ones.

      You are the ring of the world
      you are the ring of the wooorld
      but if that ring is in an armoire
      it can’t be something something
      you’ve got to stay polished to be the ring of the world

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 20
        Lara permalink

        Stupid armoire rhyme and limited editing time

        so now I go and rhyme.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 20

          That.Was.Awesome.

          Adores: 0
  4. 2011 April 20

    Rhintestone: The chemical exuded by cheap jewelry that makes old ladies grow facial hair.

    Adores: 11
  5. 2011 April 20

    lots of rhintestone and jewelry that has some markings

    Please let those markings be lion stripes. That would make my day.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 April 20

      No, silly, the markings are obviously auntie stains.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 April 20
      tigprincess permalink

      Michael Caine does though (know ALot of people)
      [corey] in UK standard joke about MC is that he constantly says “not a lot of people know that … ” [corey]

      sorry – my mac put this in the wrong place …should be earlier in the list of snarks. mea culpa and mea ignoramus technology interweb thingy

      Adores: 3
  6. 2011 April 20
    Coyttl permalink

    Wow, honestly.. that was a long setup for that ad.

    But well done!

    I’m waiting for my U.N.C.L.E. cabinet, tho.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 April 20

      Didn’t the man from U.N.C.L.E. contact you? The cabinet is on backorder.

      I had to settle for a Mission-Impossible-style cabinet instead.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 20
        mudslicker permalink

        T.H.R.U.S.H. destroyed the purchase order.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20
          Lara permalink

          ewww, you had thrush?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 20
          Lola permalink

          Yeah, those little birds will peck anything and ruin it.

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 20
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, given that one of the men from UNCLE is on NCIS, does that mean that Napolitan Solo (obligatory “He shot first”) is now in Narnia . . . ?

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 April 20
        Windrose permalink

        Capn, that’s one hell of a crossover, and could lead to dangerous slash ideas.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20
          CapnMac permalink

          Only if you are interested in a reverse mortgage late at night

          Adores: 1
  7. 2011 April 20
    Camille permalink

    I’ve been wondering where my great aunt could have gotten to.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 20
      Windrose permalink

      My aunts weren’t so great, so they can stay in the cabinet.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 20
        Lara permalink

        Since I am pretty sure neither of mine would ever read this page, I am with you Windy. They would both be much more enjoyable in an armoire. Actually they would probably kill each other.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 20
          Lola permalink

          That might be an ending the rest of us would enjoy.

          I’ll get me coat.

          Adores: 4
  8. 2011 April 20

    “The thing’s hollow—it goes on forever—and—oh my Goddy—it’s full of Aunts!”

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 April 20
      Camille permalink

      A quote from “The Not-a-Lion, the Witch, and the Tall Oak Jewelry Armoire”?

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 20

        “2011: A Spark Oddity”

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 20

          Auntie, Auntie, trapped in the oak armoire,
          Full of rhintestone, goddier than a star…
          He’s putting an ad on Craigslist,
          But there’s going to be a strange twist…
          Please call Theo,
          ‘Cause he don’t know,
          A damn thing about jewelry…

          *computer brain shuts down*

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 20
      CapnMac permalink

      “No, Ham, I cannot open the Pod Bay Door.”

      Adores: 5
  9. 2011 April 20
    TacoMagic permalink

    Damn you Fenrir!

    *Shakes fist*

    Adores: 2
  10. 2011 April 20
    TacoMagic permalink

    The aunts go marching one by one Hurrah, Hurrah!
    The aunts go marching one by one Hurrah, HURRAH!
    The aunts go marching one by one,
    The oldests puts her hair in a bun,
    And They all go marching into the oak armoire
    To adjust their grey wigs, BOOM BOOM BOOM!

    The aunts go marching two by two Hurrah, Hurrah!
    The aunts go marching two by two Hurrah, HURRAH!
    The aunts go marching two by two,
    Aunt Mildred makes her dumpling stew,
    And they all go marching into the oak armoire
    To find their yappy dog, BOOM BOOM BOOM!

    The aunts go marching three by three, Hurrah, Hurrah!
    The aunts go marching three by three, Hurrah, HURRAH!
    The aunts go marching three by three,
    Aunt Betty smells a bit like pee,
    And they all go marching into the oak armoire
    To crochet their bobble hats! BOOM BOOM BOOM!

    EVERYBODY NOW!

    Adores: 15
    • 2011 April 20
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      It’s posts like this that remind me to get on my high horse about the fact that us Native Invaders (New Englanders) pronounce the word aunt properly and the rest of you unwashed masses confuse it with the name of an insect.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 20
        mudslicker permalink

        That sounded kind of high and mighty…..pronounced like you have a pipe stuck up your nose….AAHHHHHntee…

        ??

        Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 20
        TacoMagic permalink

        IF, your new name is “Captain Buzzkill.”

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 20
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Oooh boy, I always wanted to be a Captain! Who gets to be my Tennille?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 20
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Also, Captain Buzzkill is the name of my side business as an exterminator.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 20
          Asshat Sparklington IV permalink

          I shall be your Tennille

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 April 20
          TacoMagic permalink

          Well played, Sir Sparklington. Well played, indeed.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 20

          Actually, it’s still totally singable as Taco wrote it even when it doesn’t rhyme with an insect. Try it!

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 20
        Jen permalink

        the rest of you unwashed masses

        *ahem*

        You mean ‘the rest of you AMERICAN unwashed masses’. Those of us of an Antipodean, European, Grand Britannic or other assorted colonial tendency also pronounce the word correctly, thankyouverymuch.

        America =/= the world.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20
          Lola permalink

          And thank goodness we don’t. There’s quite enough to worry about just in this country alone.

          *discovers flask is empty*

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 20

          But we were also a (mostly) British colony, once upon a time.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 20
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Well, we ARE trying our best to make it so, one invasion at a time…

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 20
          Laurelhach permalink

          We were the naughty child.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20
          Jen permalink

          There’s quite enough to worry about just in this country alone.

          Yeah, I heard as how you guys have hills full of cannabilistic mutants, an entire state full of Oompa Loompas (who lure your kids to their lairs and then turn ’em into chocolate!) and an eeeebil overlord who keeps trying to give people free healthcare.

          *Fills up flask. Steals flask*

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 20

          As a Canadian, still technically a British colony, I pronounce it like the insect, and will continue to do so for as long as I live in this hill.

          Adores: 5
  11. 2011 April 20
    Windrose permalink

    Today’s box entrants are brought to you by the letter L and the number 2. 8)

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 20
      Lara permalink

      High five, Lola!

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 20
        Lola permalink

        High five!

        *misses*

        Yeah, I’m a dork like that.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20
          Meredith permalink

          *Walks through door only to be hit by Lola smack dab in the forehead.*

          Wow, thanks. I wouldn’t expect any other welcome back. Now I feel at home again.

          Adores: 9
        • 2011 April 20

          If you hear a ringing in your ears that’s just the TacoThong.

          Do not look towards the jingling noise!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20
          Lola permalink

          *passes flask and ice for injury to Meredith*

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 20

      PUBLIC NOTICE

      Please do not number 2 in the box. There is a toilet for that. In the event that said appliance is clogged with jingly panties, the attendant will distribute shrubs.

      Adores: 5
  12. 2011 April 20
    Windrose permalink

    This link is just for Sister Lyle, no one else click on it!

    Unless, of course, you wish to.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFwgblszf6s

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 21
      SisterLyle permalink

      I didn’t see it until just now! I haven’t been feeling well so my snark-o-meter was low. That is awesome! My little zoological bones are a quiver with amusement!

      Adores: 3
  13. 2011 April 20

    Ack! Clever post except that the clip is from _Marriage of Figaro_, not _Magic Flute_!

    (Though you are right about _Flute_ being a good first opera. Check out Bergman’s version done for Swedish TV).

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 20
      Angel permalink

      Another that I’d recommend for first-timers is Strauss’ “Die Fledermaus”. It’s cute, it’s a short three-act operetta, and you can also sometimes find it being performed in a literal English translation of the original German.

      Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 20
      Camille permalink

      I must be weird in this regard. I only like the operas where everyone dies.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 20

        Preferably, early in the first act.

        Adores: 7
      • 2011 April 20
        Meredith permalink

        I’m the opposite. Whether it be opera, movies, books, tv, whatever, my first question upon getting a recommendation is, “Does anybody DIE in this?”. Holdover from being raised by a mother who thought that things with tragic endings had “meaning”. I’m scarred.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 20
          Windrose permalink

          I bet you love Hamlet!

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 20

      He did say he was making some of the stuff up. (I just don’t think that was supposed to be part of it.)

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 20
        Lara permalink

        I think it’s alright to make stuff up about opera. Its kind of like when you watch telemundo and make up words for the soap opera characters to say.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 20
          Lola permalink

          My Spanish is, despite efforts, utter mierda, so I tend to make things up, too, whilst watching novelas. I have a good friend who did/sometimes still does telenovela acting and sitting with him is the best way to watch of all – he’ll tell you what they are saying, the backstory, and gossip about the actors, particularly if he’s worked with them.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20

          I’ve been trying to read Les Liaisons Dangereuses, en francais. Sometimes I get tired of looking up words and just make stuff up in context. At least I know the story from when I was younger and apparently thought Cruel Intentions was worth watching multiple times…

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 20
          TacoMagic permalink

          Speaking of Cruel Intentions:

          *Jingly Jingly Jingly*

          *Runs away*

          *JINGLY Jingly Jingly jingly…*

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 20
          Lola permalink

          My Spanish being rather less than your French, I’ve been doing the same with the first Harry Potter, since it’s simple and I know what’s going on and can figure it out from context. Still, if I don’t have a dictionary to hand, I’ll either make stuff up or get a headache (or skim before I realize I’m not really paying attention).

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 20
          Meredith permalink

          “Harry and Ron do WHAT NOW?”.

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 April 20
          Windrose permalink

          Welcome back, Meredith!!!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 20
          TacoMagic permalink

          Hi Meredith!

          *Jingly Jingly*

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 20
      Dan permalink

      Oh, crap – you’re right, of course.

      Adores: 0
  14. 2011 April 20
    SisterLyle permalink

    Aunty Em, Aunty Em! I just had the strangest dream! I was in this armoire full of gaudy jewelry. And you were there! And Aunty Amelia, and Aunty Beatrice, and Aunty Claudette, and Aundy Darleen, and Aunty Francesca!

    Adores: 5
  15. 2011 April 20
    Lara permalink

    It’s an armoire of Ents, not Aunts. That’s why it’s tall oak jewelry!

    Adores: 6
  16. 2011 April 20

    “Auntimatter Containment”

    “It was February at the Noodle Damage Club.” Spat said.
    “No, it was January at Rorschach’s Bar & Grill,” Breema retorted.
    Spat and his wife had been talking about their relatives and how they first met, which had inevitably led to reminiscing about how he had met her, an event he realized unexpectedly that they remembered differently.
    “No,” Spat replied.  “I’m quite sure of it, it was February at the Noodle Damage Club.  I remember because I’d been going there for some time and hadn’t seen you there before.  You brought me a ground bear burger and a Jersey Water Beer, then I started hitting on you.”
    Breema shook he head.  “You didn’t see me there before because I’d just quit my job at Rorschach’s and started working there.  We had met the month before at the grill.  You ordered a big plate of fries and gravy topped with custard.”
    What?” Spat exclaimed. “I’d never order something like that, that’s disgusting!”
    “You were drunk.”
    It was Spat’s turn to shake his head.  “Even drunk I’d never order that.”
    “You were really drunk.  You told me I was pretty, tried to pay with your metro pass, then wrote your phone number on the back of your hand and tried to stuff it in my apron.”
    “No, I didn’t!” Spat was flustered.  “I’ve never been that drunk in my life.”
    “You said you finished the last half of a bottle of tequila.  Then you ate the worm, which you liked so much you asked if they sold plates of just the tequila worms, and when they told you they didn’t, you said you left to come here, where you asked me if we sold the same thing, and when I said we didn’t you made this cute little disappointed moan and ordered the fries and custard.”
    Spat shook his head vehemently.  “I absolutely did not!”
    “Did.”
    “Didn’t!”
    “Definitely did.”
    “Did not!”
    “Fine,” Breema finally said.  “Go ask aunt Alice. She was the one who made your fries.”
    “Fine, then, I will.”

    Spat was just as stubborn as his wife, which was what both attracted him to, and frustrated him about her sometimes, but on this point he was certain.  Whomever that man was Breema had served that revolting meal to may have looked like him, but it most certainly was not him.  He didn’t even like tequila, much less alcohol-soaked worms.  The very thought made him gag a little as he made his way up the stairs of his house to settle this.

    He walked into the guest room which was furnished with a bed, a full-length mirror, and three chests-of-drawers.  He walked over to the dresser beside the window and opened the top drawer.
    “Spat!” his uncle said as he popped out of the drawer.  “What, you never call, you never write?  When are you going to let me out to visit?”
    Whoops.  Wrong drawer.  “Sorry, uncle Mustard.  I was looking for aunt Alice.”
    “Oh, sure,” Uncle Mustard said sarcastically.  “Everybody comes to see Aunt Alice, never your poor uncle Mustard.  You know, my feet get cold from being so close to the window — but fine, I’ll just lay back down here until you’re ready to grace me with a proper visit.”
    “I’m sorry, uncle, we’ll visit soon, I’m kind of in the middle of an argument that only aunt Alice can settle.”
    Fine, fine, you go have fun with aunt Alice, I’ll just be here quietly waiting.  And shivering.”
    Spat sighed as his uncle lay back down to let him close the drawer.  Second from the top, he remembered.  Sure enough, aunt Alice popped out.
    “Spat, my nehpew!” she enthused.  “Oh, it’s good to see you again, how long has it been?  What, two, three months?  Spatty boy, you need to visit more often, we miss you!”
    “Thanks, aunt Alice,” Spad said, trying to assuage the incoming guilt.  “It’s nice to see you too, but we had you down for dinner two weeks ago.  Remember?  We played Checkers with Ritz Bits.”
    “Oh, well,” Alice said.  “It seems like so much longer, what we being cooped up in this little drawer.  You should get us some armoires or something, much more spacious.”
    “We’re looking into it,” Spat replied. “Hey, look, Breema and I are having a little argument that I hope you can solve for us.”
    “Oy, you two, always arguing about something.  I swear sometimes I think the only things keeping you two together are the things you think the other is wrong about but can’t prove yet.  So, what is it this time?”
    “Well,” Spat began.  “We were talking about how our relatives first met, which led to how we first met.  I happen to know that we met at the Noodle Damage Club in February of 1998, but she insists we met at Rorschach’s Bar & Grill where you two worked in January. Who’s right?”
    “Oh, honey,” Alice said, amused.  “You’re both right — and you’re both wrong.”
    “Wait, what?” Spat said, confused.
    “Oh, you two did connect at the grill, I remember that.  Custard on fries!  I’d never heard of such a thing, but you ate it all!  You were so drunk and I felt so bad I drove you home, stopping halfway so you could throw up at the side of the road.  I also remember Breema telling me about how you hit on her at the club — that’s when she finally relented and agreed to go out with you. But the first time you two met?  It was at some Christmas party in December of 1997.  I don’t know whose it was, but you both must have known someone there because you were both at it.  The both of you got so drunk you switched clothes, only you couldn’t figure out how to put on her dress or bra in your state, so when she called me to pick her up to drive her home you were sloppily following her around like a lost, stoned dog wearing only her panties.  It was shameful!  But I would have felt bad if I left you there tottering on the sidewalk half naked, so I drove you both home.”

    The revelation was a little shocking.  Spat simply didn’t drink to such excess, and here it was revealed that he did so not once, but twice.  However, he supposed it was possible that he got drunk enough that his restraint and reason went far enough out the window that he ended up going full drunkard to the point that he lost his memories of the night before.  Which was probably just as well given the situations it seemed to get him in.  Thanks, aunt Alice.”
    “Don’t be a stranger, now!  I expect another visit soon!” Alice said as she ducked back into the drawer.

    So Spat was wrong.  He hated being wrong.  It did explain the fur-fringed red velvet panties he found on his living room floor that hungover December morning, however.  He had always wondered about those, as he didn’t remember having a woman over who was wearing them, nor did he remember buying them.  Nevertheless, the important take away from this was that Breema was also wrong, and that made him feel better about his own wrongness.

    Spat padded back down the stairs.  “So,” Spat said to Breema.  “Apparently we’re both wrong.”
    “Wait, what?” Breema said, surprised.
    “Yeah, that’s what I said.  But apparently we met even earlier.  December ’97, Christmas party.  We were both hammered.  Aunt Alice drove us home.”
    Breema’s eyes looked skyward as she tried to recall the event.  “Huh … yeah, I think I remember that.  Cheeba’s party.  I don’t remember you being there though — but then that night is pretty hazy.”
    “We swapped clothes.” Spat said matter-of-factly.
    What?” Breema exclaimed.
    “Somehow I ended up in your panties and nothing else.”
    “Oh, God,” Breema blushed.  “That’s embarrassing.  I’m glad I don’t remember that.”
    “You and be both,” Spat agreed.
    “So then we were both wrong,” Breema said.
    “It would appear that way, yes. I don’t know how we kept bumping into each other — or I guess I kept bumping into you, but under the circumstances I’d almost believe it was fate.”
    Breema smiled a little.  “Funny, that.  Maybe you kept seeking me out unconsciously.”
    “Or barely consciously,” Spat quipped. “By the way, uncle Mustard says hi.”

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 April 20
      TacoMagic permalink

      *Dons the TacoThong*

      I approve of this story!

      *Jingly Jingly Jingly*

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 20

        Oh no. When did we add bells to the TacoThong?

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20
          TacoMagic permalink

          Windy started it with her reply to my rather transparent April fools prank.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 20

          Ah. I thought maybe it was something from Christmas. That’s probably just because VS actually DID have underwear (not a thong though) with bells on it for Christmas.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 20
          Camille permalink

          The good thing about there being bells on the thong is that you can always tell when Taco is…

          I’ll be in the corner.

          Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 20
      TacoMagic permalink

      “You and be both,” Spat agreed.

      I think that should have been “Ewe and Bee, both.”

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 20

        Cruddles. You are correct, of course, that this was a mixed ovid-apian marriage as you so astutely interpreted, and that was an unfortunate double typo. I can only blame it on my fingers, which are sore from having accidentally slammed them in the dresser where I was visiting my grandfather.

        Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 20
        Bombdude permalink

        “Spat, my nehpew!” she enthused.

        I also liked “nehpew”. I assumed it was an comment about Spat’s olfactory malfeasance…

        How, exactly, does one enthuse?

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 20

          Doh! And ScribeFire didn’t even underline “nehpew,” and my (admittedly poor) proofreading skills didn’t pick it up either.

          Also, “enthuse” is a perfectly cromulent word. It is the root verb from which one enthuses or had previously enthused, which is the act of expressing something with enthusiasm, I enthused enthusiastically.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 20
          Angel permalink

          I enthuse frequently, usually over things that my grandsons have done. It’s less ooky now that they’re in middle school though… less bug/bug guts involvement. They’re more into which girl is crushing on which brother now since they’re two years apart.

          Adores: 0
  17. 2011 April 20
    Slim and Slam permalink

    Anna Russell lives!

    Adores: 2
  18. 2011 April 20

    Ha! What a randomly perfect opportunity to present you all with the YouTube video of my most recent choir concert, in which I have a solo in the Les Mis Medley! I sing “Castle on a Cloud”; I think the medley starts about 20 minutes into the show…if you were to skip ahead and just watch me instead of watching the whole thing (which is quite entertaining but it requires an hour and a half of your time).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyuvHHc52cM

    The reason it’s perfect is because the whole point of the show was to do funny numbers, mostly from musicals and comic operas and the like. Except for Les Mis, we weren’t exactly funny with that. I’m still not sure how that got in there, but whatever, I got a solo out of it. ??

    Adores: 6
  19. 2011 April 20
    SpaceBug permalink

    Sorry Sparks, no sale.
    Too much rhintestone makes me go bald.

    Adores: 1
  20. 2011 April 20
    CoffDrop permalink

    Brumhilde wild Valkyrie
    deep in protected slumber of fire ring
    to lay guard upon thee as ye be prize
    ay to he of valor in strength to surpass
    ardent barrier of Loge
    nay cowardice to flee in plight
    as being undeserving

    Brumhilde ye frau bold
    beeth as thee taketh
    on to combat thine hero
    victory onward road of Valhalla

    Brumhilde thou be cast to fate
    as defiance on thy lover to
    thine Siegfried offspring
    to ye siblings

    Brumhilde audacious ever to face fire
    Siegfried was in capture of thee
    oh, woman of nobility rage of passion
    be on to ye as bodies a flame force
    desire upon other for true adoration
    in rebellion

    Brumhilde dearest amongst else
    yet betrayed to greed indeed be ye
    ast thine Siegfried does wrong on to thee
    for drunk in triumph of glory
    it taketh leave on to memory that be
    desires past to new worlds in wealth
    to adore Gertrude in place of thee
    in matrimony

    Brumhilde tricked be ye
    as in slight of hand thou be robed
    of ring so much cache to thee
    as to arise wrath on thee beloved
    to treachery of betrayal as to reveal
    weakness for benefit ever wicked Hagen

    Brumhilde grief be on to thee oh woeful one
    as sorrow upon thine soul taketh ye to plunge
    on flames of Siegfried riding steed gallant
    in end to all for time present be Gotterdammerung

    Adores: 1
  21. 2011 April 20
    Anne [ Miss ] Elk permalink

    Color me in quiltish (silly gravatar, waiting to send confirmation email)
    I’m giddy for having free swag certain to cause some lurker-envy in a couple days.

    Slightly disquieting, though, that it bears this caution:

    Warning: For your child’s health and Safety. Before first use, hand wash all parts in warm soapy water and air dry .Before each use, inspect the product and throw away at first sign of damage or weakness. Not dishwasher, microwave or freezer safe. Hand wash only. Not suitable for alcohol, hot liquids, milk, carbonated or fermented drinks. Keep away from extreme heat. This bottle has been pressure tested, but under extreme pressure the bottle may crack and distort. Not suitable for children under 36 months.
    WARNING! Choking Hazard.
    Please retain all information for future reference.

    [Formatting and typsetting kept from original]

    How apt, it’s nearly a YSaC contender all by its lonesome.

    Slightly inapt in being neither flask nor coffee capable, though.
    Could have just said “For water use only. Not a flotation device”
    Slightly concerned about that having to Retain all information, though; hard enough remembering what I do now–that, and the “starts out thin [coff], gets thicker in the middle [coff,coff], then gets [coff,coff,coff!] thinner [COFF!] again [cof] at the far end [coff].

    Adores: 2
  22. 2011 April 20

    The first opera I ever saw was Cosi fan Tutte, which is also a good one for beginners, I think. I was genuinely surprised to find out it was funny.

    The opera company where I live, like many of them, projects an English translation above the stage. So, so helpful.

    I also really liked Faust and Norma…but I must say that both of them have the kind of plots that could only happen in opera!

    Me describing Faust to a coworker: “So this guy sees a beautiful young woman in the market and falls in love, and then sells his soul to the devil for her, and eventually she is taken bodily into heaven….”

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 20
      Jen permalink

      The first time I saw Cosi Fan Tutte it was done in a bar, in English, and at the end they (accidentally) dropped an entire tray of champagne flutes, which shattered and spilled bubbles all over a poor wee lass in the front row. *snerkle* Sadly I do not think any other opera experience will be quite as fun(ny).

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 20
        Angel permalink

        Much of opera’s appeal is its confrontation of tragedy. Jen’s experience of Cosi fan Tutte brought that to a new level to some random people… that’s awesome ??

        Adores: 1
  23. 2011 April 20
    LurkRealClose permalink

    I have no time to read or snark today, but I had to say that this:

    Only when you are thoroughly prepared should you approach probably the most complex operas, those written by Robert Wagner. In between episodes of “Hart to Hart,” Wagner managed to pen a seventeen hour long opera cycle involving giants, dwarves, naiads, dragons, Valkyries, spears, magic helmets, and three kinds of real cheese.

    Is quite possibly the most awesome thing I have ever read. Hart to Hart FTW!

    Adores: 1
  24. 2011 April 21
    Windrose permalink

    Lola and Lara, line up side by side by side by side by *slap* Sorry. Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Joe Green!

    Adores: 0
  25. 2011 April 22

    Um…I’m pretty sure you mean *Richard* Wagner, not Robert. Unless, of course, that was one of the bits you were making up.

    Nerd moment over.

    I just realized that this is the first time I’ve ever posted on YSaC. I’ve been a lurker for a few years and the first time I decide to leave a response it’s to correct something. I didn’t realize it, but I must be one of those people the internet hates.

    Adores: 1
  26. 2011 April 29
    monkeypizzasonic permalink

    I’ll stick to my Gilbert and Sullivan, thanks.

    “I am the very model of a model major Craigslist post
    I sell all things like jewelry and devices for making toast
    I don’t bother with spellcheck because that is to much work for me
    And I have got a red table for sale you can take it for free!”

    Adores: 0
  27. 2011 May 4

    cool! thanks for sharing!

    Adores: 0
  28. 2013 April 20

    I put Dan in the box. Apparently my secondary role here at YSaC is straight man. 8)

    Adores: 0
  29. 2013 April 21

    Dan, don’t move around too much, or I might “accidentally” hit something “Important.” Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Valkyries!

    Adores: 0

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