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2008 December 2
by drmk

HALF KARATE RING MUST SELL! – $500


The ring is antiquish looking and very ellegant. I’ve loved the time I’ve had with it, but I must sell it. It has a circular setting and a thin band. On the band there are four diamons the align each side. THe setting is first, a circle of diamonds( small) then second another circle of diamonds( there bigger then the other ones) then third about a fourth of karate of a diamond in the middle. It’s very flashy, but not too much. It’s got the right amount of class. If your interested please contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or xxxxxxxxx@msn.com

The half judo rings usually go for much, much more. I’d be worried about the ring trying to kick my ass, though — even if it only half-knows karate, that’s still a lot more than I know.

Or maybe it’s a ring with Wonder Twins powers — maybe there’s a matching ring out there that, if you touch them together, you end up with full karate ass-kicking powers. That’d be fun.

33 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 December 2
    Amylou permalink

    What I want to know is why she included a picture of an empty box?

    I wonder if Chuck Norris has the other half karate ring? Imagine what an ass-kicking that would empower!!

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 April 28
      One Moving Violation permalink

      The empty box signifies where Sparkette would like to be tomorrow without ever having to comment on YSaC. I don’t know the rules about that though, You would have to ask mama Windy about that.

      Edit: I don’t think a half karate ring would be intimidating enough to pull it off.

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 April 29

        Right, One. No one gets in the box without making a comment that gets high snarky adores. It’s right there in the YSaC Rule Book.

        Adores: 0
  2. 2008 December 2

    Great blurry shots.

    Is this a step up or a step down from ‘carrot’??

    Adores: 1
  3. 2008 December 2
    drmk permalink

    Amylou: Chuck Norris made the diamonds in this ring by squeezing his thighs together.

    Martha: I’m not sure which is worse!

    Adores: 3
  4. 2008 December 2
    Olson permalink

    That would look awesome with my girly slap-fight ring!

    Adores: 3
  5. 2008 December 5

    I had to read that damn title 4 times before I realized, “I think they mean karat.” I think half of a karate ring would be pretty neat too though.

    Adores: 0
  6. 2008 December 14

    Pretty diamons, those or. If anyone is interested, I can teach you about a 1/8 a karate, I took it while I was in collage.

    Adores: 3
  7. 2009 September 4
    Kagenin permalink

    You could use half a karate ring to hold a martial arts tournament where you only have to beat your opponent half-to-death.

    Adores: 1
  8. 2010 January 11
    Pez4me42 permalink

    One sentence in this ad is exceptional to me because it has not one, but two sublime examples of the kind of misuse that is the visual equivalent to nails on a chalkboard for me:

    “( there bigger then the other ones) ”

    Why can’t (don’t/won’t) people understand the difference between there, their and they’re or then and than (don’t get me started on to vs. too)?

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 April 28
      Brer Fox permalink

      *snickers*

      The ballet class had for the girls,
      eight tutus and six pair of tights.
      The tutus were pink, the tights were of pearl,
      only five girls had shown for the night.

      “We need just one more dancer here”
      Said teacher as she called Sue.
      “I have an extra pair of tights dear,
      and to too many two tus tu.”

      *snirk*

      Adores: 0
  9. 2010 January 11
    Cled permalink

    Tempting as it is, I’ll have to pass. I already have a half aikido necklace. I’m afraid adding a half karate ring would just be too much, you know? Overkill, as it were.

    Adores: 5
  10. 2010 May 14
    Innana permalink

    Aikido you not!

    Adores: 8
  11. 2012 April 28

    A half karate ring is the martial-arts equivalent of a miniature golf course.

    Adores: 2
  12. 2012 April 28
    wanda permalink

    I would need just the right belt to go with the karate ring.

    Adores: 6
  13. 2012 April 28
    Digitalaxis permalink

    I was confused by the explanation of the ring, and then I realized all the pictures were blurry. ALL the pictures.

    Almost, Sparky, almost. At least Sparky didn’t display the pictures upside-down, or accidentally include a picture of her friends at the bar from her last birthday.

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 April 28
      wanda permalink

      Yes, I was thinking the same. That ring could be anything. A pearl. Tin foil. (Ok, sorry aluminum foil). Sculpey clay my kids made (and yes, that is priceless)

      I do enjoy when people model their jewelry to sell on their hands. They are usually the most unattractive hands ever. What is wrong with a picture of a ring in the box? Must we see a huge hammy hand to convince us of its worth?

      *rant over*

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 April 29
        Kaziganthi permalink

        Don’t you mean aluminium foil…

        you know, like the Aluminium Falcon…

        Adores: 1
  14. 2012 April 28

    Every weekend, it’s ferrets and ghost cats in the box. I think there’s a few ghost ferrets by now. . . Sorry, Dave.

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 April 28
      funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

      This is Funky Barker reminding you to help control the avatar population, have them spayed or neutered (sorry, Ghostie and Dave).

      Adores: 0
  15. 2012 April 28
    christina permalink

    Does half karate smell as bad as Hai Karate?

    Adores: 1
  16. 2012 April 28
    wanda permalink

    I like the second picture in the best. The most important lesson in becoming a martial arts master: there is no ring.

    Adores: 3
  17. 2012 April 28
    One Moving Violation permalink

    [Corey]This is either a scam or Sparkette is clueless. First of all, a half ring is not really a ring, karate or otherwise. It is a crescent or an arc. In karate, I would assume “karate arc” would be proper vernacular. As most people know, in karate, the goal is to come full circle in your training. A karate arc would either mean you have a half-assed master, or you are not likely to ever complete your training. An arc would also fall off of your finger quite easily. I can imagine Sparkette using her training to slap someone, her “half karate ring” falling off, then standing there defenseless with a ticked off opponent facing her. That would probably be the reason she is selling it. Half karate rings don’t really work.[Corey]

    (take note: you can only see half a ring in the photos)

    Adores: 0
  18. 2012 April 28
    SilvaNoir permalink

    HI-YAHHH!

    oh wait, half Karate, so only “hi” then

    Adores: 4
  19. 2012 April 28

    I get comments on the half of a chupacabra I wear around my finger all the time!

    None of them are actually compliments, but it’s nice to be noticed.

    Adores: 2
  20. 2012 April 29

    Dave, ghostcat, pack up your ferrets and hair balls. You are being evicted from the box.

    Good Morning, Crater of Diamonds State Park!

    Adores: 0
  21. 2012 April 29
    Not-a-[censored] Lion permalink

    Hee!

    She misspelled Digimon!

    Adores: 0
  22. 2012 April 29
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Zan and Jayna together: Karate twin powers, activate!
    Jayna: Form of…Sieza!
    Zan: Form of Irimi Chudan!

    (I apologize to anyone who gets this.)

    Adores: 0

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