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2011 October 3

Over the weekend, I tried to whet your appetite for French Provincial mayhem. Those of you who are regular readers of the site will remember that French Prudential/Pervential/Preventional furniture has been a mainstay of YSaC lore … so I thought I’d show you what has developed since the last time we encountered Sparkys who are trying to be classy. Surely people must be learning, right?

Small round glass top dining table with 4 chairs – $125


Darling table with light wood chairs, french provential style, round glass top about 5inches across, and light upolstered chairs. $125.00 cash only

I’m sure it’s darling; if it’s only 5 inches across it’s darling enough for a dollhouse, darling.

French Perventional bedroom suite – $200

The fact that this is a bedroom suite makes me worrywonder (yes, that’s a word) what this Sparky was getting up to in there, or if this was just some kind of a Freudian slip. I’ve heard about those French and their predilections for covering themselves in sliced meat and cheese and singing Ethel Merman songs.

French Credential furniture – $2000

Ah, the French. They have to make everything official, don’t they? They even have to give their furniture official titles. “We cannot sleep on zis furniture until eet has eets credentials. And also because eet has been perventionaled.”

french pervintial coffee table – $125


very nice vintage french provintial coffee table with a drawer on each end good condition.
225.00 reduced to 125.00

Hi, Sparky? I have a question about your coffee table. Is it pervintial or provintial? Yes, it makes a difference; one I have to dip in bleach before I set my coffee mug on it.

Antique Sofa – $75


Antique French Pavintial Sofa. Salmon color. Roughly 70 inches long. $75.00 or OBO. Cash only.

Oh, now you’re just not even trying.

Thanks to our own Ms. Eyebrows, Lucy, Cheryl, Nicole, and Dana!

 

60 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 October 3
    LurkyLoo permalink

    OMG, I’m always a lurker never a commenter…but I couldn’t pass up the chance to be FIRST!

    *inserts snarky and witty comment here*

    (I think my favorite variation here is “perventional,” I always heard the French were a bit perverted about s-e-x…)

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 October 3
      Lola permalink

      Welcome, LurkyLoo! Please feel welcome to comment more!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 3

        *insert appropriately snarky reply to snarky and witty comment, leaving just enough information for the next snarker to continue the thread*

        Get thee a non-quilt!

        Adores: 5
  2. 2011 October 3
    Lola permalink

    French Credential furniture – $2000

    You know, I was aware from friends living in la Republique Francaise that the bureaucracy and red tape there were ridiculous, but having to have one’s home furnishings credentialled – and for more money than any of the other items listed, it appears – is just completely ridiculous!

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 October 3
      madbrnnr permalink

      I thought it was far more interesting that they had to, possibly, credentialize their perventional furniture. Having lived in Europe for 8 years I knew they were a bit… errr…looser in their lifestyles but I thought this might go far above and beyond.

      Adores: 4
  3. 2011 October 3

    Does the first one come with a Stonehenge model?

    Adores: 1
  4. 2011 October 3

    Just once I want to see Sparky try to tell those twins on Antique Roadshow that his furniture is Providential, et al. I’d love to see them flip their shit.

    Adores: 13
    • 2011 October 3
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      I Googled “flipthisshit.com” and the domain name doesn’t seem to be taken. I’ll race ya fer it, Sis!

      Adores: 7
  5. 2011 October 3
    Windrose permalink

    “french pervintial coffee table”

    *checks reference books* Ah, yes. This table was used when the wine was served, but only one glass of any one bottle could be served at this table. Once per vintage, as it were.

    Adores: 2
  6. 2011 October 3
    MandaB permalink

    I will bypass the ottermangling in order to ask about two things that are puzzling me:

    1) Wouldn’t a light upholstered chair be rather uncomfortable to sit in?

    and

    2) Do you serve your vintage pervintial table with meat or fish?

    Adores: 6
  7. 2011 October 3

    Why, oh why can we not pervent provint credent pavint keep Sparky le Sparklecheuse from posting ads?

    Won’t someone think of the children??

    Adores: 7
  8. 2011 October 3

    OT…and grrrrrrrr….sigh….grrrrrrr……..

    My mirror is off sick again today.

    And I now have double duty for normal work and we have a team of auditors coming in two hours and I’ve no time to snark!

    This is intolerable!

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 October 3
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      “My mirror is off sick again today. ”

      Am I reading that right or do my meds need to be tweaked again?

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 October 3

        Yes.

        Adores: 9
        • 2011 October 3
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Definitely. Way past due.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 3

          See if they’ll give you one of those fancy self-hugging coats as well.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 3
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Snuggie? Straight Jacket in a nice leopard print.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 3
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          If they come with feet I’m all over them.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 October 3
          Windrose permalink

          New meds will also help you remember that Ghostie is female, and therefore a thin quilt will give you no hints about her religion. 8) I’m a helper.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 3

          Yeah, you have to do it the old-fashioned way – throw holy water on me and see if I burst into flames.

          Adores: 7
  9. 2011 October 3

    I want to snark, really. But the French have prevented it.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 October 3
      Lola permalink

      That’s just because you’re spelling it wrong. The Perventional contingent prefers le snarque, from what I hear.

      Adores: 3
  10. 2011 October 3

    *rushes in door*

    Got 30 seconds left after wolfing down my lunch to say…

    I just remembered something!

    My very first foray into comment reading, and my first lesson in NEVER eating/drinking/breathing whilst reading commentary by YSaCers, was a post whose title was “Shouldn’t We Have Prevented Hitler, Instead?” or something like that….it was all about French Prevential furniture.

    I’ve never been the same since.

    Thank you.

    *rushes back out the door….*

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 October 3
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      *wraps up a piece of cake in a to-go box*

      Take dessert with you. You must be having a Monday too.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 October 3
        Lola permalink

        There’s cake????

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 3
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Well, NOT ANYMORE! Muwahahahahahaha!

          *runs like the wind*

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 October 3
      Windrose permalink

      And if you had visited the reduxes . . .reduxii? The posts that redux old posts, over the weekend, you would have seen the very post itself. 8)

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 October 3

        I’m becoming a weekend one-hit oneder wonder.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 October 3

          Same here. It’s like the night-shift is sucking my snark right out of me and the only time I find anything amusing to say is when there’s no competition.

          Adores: 2
  11. 2011 October 3
    Windrose permalink

    OT — I want to apologize for being in a finger pointing, not very cheery kind of mood. Must be Monday. Not even all the TacoMagic in the box can save me!

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 3
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      I’ll share the cake I stole, if it helps. It’s banana.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 3
      Lola permalink

      Parrots have fingers?

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 October 3
        Jen permalink

        I think this one has a bionic arm. It’s a bit worn though – could be anteak, except it’s not made of wood.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 3

          It’s not worn.
          It’s just a little sad.
          Come on, YSaC, let’s cheer up Windy’s bionic arm! We need to take perventional action before it starts pining for the fjords!

          Adores: 3
      • 2011 October 3
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        *pffft* Haven’t you ever heard of chicken fingers? *rolls eyes*

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 4
          Silva "gets here late these days" Noir permalink

          and buffalo wings

          Adores: 1
  12. 2011 October 3
    LimeLolly permalink

    I don’t care what you tell me.

    No matter how many times I sit in that stupid chair, it never goes to Provential. And same thing with that Pervential bed, it just doesn’t know how to have a good time. I’m just disgusted with this furniture I bought on credit. Thoroughly disgusted.

    Adores: 7
  13. 2011 October 4
    Windrose permalink

    Well, Mr. One-hit per weekend Wonder Taco, Here’s a one-two Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’night Bonsall!

    Adores: 1
  14. 2011 October 4

    *click*

    Sigh

    *click*

    Sigh

    *click click*

    Sigh.

    Adores: 1
  15. 2011 October 4
    funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

    OMG! Where’s the new post? What will we do, Taco? I’m skeered.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 October 4

      I don’t know Monkey. I think there’s a pamphlet here somewhere that tells us what to do. Aren’t we supposed to sit behind a woman clutching a baby?

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 October 4
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        Check the lounge, maybe there’s an emergency kit somewhere. Maybe it will have snacks. And reading material. And emergency contact numbers.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 4
          Windrose permalink

          My pamphlet says to call 1-800-xxx-xxxx.

          Adores: 0

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